Girlfriend

Maap yak buat para pembaca (halah kaya banyak yg baca aja)... Posting gw banyak yg ber-aura negatif. Ya abis gw pikir daripada gw ngomel2 di dunia nyata trus gw ngomongin orang di belakang, atau ngehina-hina orang di depan, trus nyakitin, mending gw nulis-nulis aja deh. Enggak, bukan karena gw munafik, bener gw ga munafiiikkk. Sampe ada temen gw yang bilang kalo gw ga suka sama orang, keliatan banget dari mata gw. Cuman gw bener-bener menjaga apa yang keluar dari mulut gw. Karena ada perkataan:

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything"

dan

"Yang keluar dari mulut, meluap dari hati"

Makanya biarpun hati gw sebel bener, tapi ya tetep lah mulut dijaga. Mudah-mudahan lama-lama gw ga sebel-sebel lagi biar hati lebih tenang gitu loh. Plus lingkungan gw saat ini kebanyakan orang yang toleran dan menerima satu sama lain. Jadi jarang deh ngomongin orang (apa gw yang ga tau aja yah?). Saling nyela atau menjatuhkan aja ga pernah kok. Kadang gw merasa kok sok suci banget, ya tapi emang bener sih, kudu begitu. Apa jadinya kalo pertemanan dipenuhi dengan celaan (yang bukan bercanda), saling ngomongin di belakang, dan saling menjatuhkan?

Kemaren itu gw lagi galau. Gw sebel sama seseorang cuman males cerita ke suami. Karena yaaaa... nanti juga tanggepannya lempeng gitu. Either "cuekin aja" atau "ya udahlah ga usah dipikirin", dan sejenisnya. Atau malah gw jadi merasa bersalah sendiri karena gw sebel sama tuh orang.

Untungnya salah satu sohib nun jauh di sana yang suka menjadikan gw tong sampahnya, pas lagi manggil gw. Jadi setelah ngobrol-ngobrol sambil gosip-gosip update-update berita terbaru gw mulai lah cerita kalo gw sebel sama si itu karena blablabla. Tetep sih gw merasa bersalah karena sebel sama dia plus ngomongin ke orang lain. Cuman untungnya karena yang gw ceritain dan si topik utama tidak berteman (saling tau sih), jadi ya okelah ya. Dibanding gw ngomongin temen segeng sama temen segeng yg lain?

Senengnya, ternyata kesebelan gw didukung lah sama dia. Katanya, wajar kok, emang tingkah kaya begitu 'unlikable'. I feel better after that (gw ga jahat-jahat amat ternyata). Ahhhh... memang biarpun udah merid, butuh dah temen cewe buat curhat-curhat ala cewe begini.... Dan secara gw sama temen gw ini udah bertemen hampir seumur hidup kita, ya udah ngerti satu sama lain lah ya. Tau gimana cara merespon dan membuat si pencurhat jadi merasa baikan.

But still, gw masih merasa bersalah sih sebel sama orang, cuman karena menurut gw dia gengges, sok asik, dan suka pamer. HAHOOHAOHAOHOHAOHAOH.... Apakah gw sirik? Ya mungkin aja sih. Prioritas dan kondisi kita beda. Apakah karena gw berbeda kepribadian? Ya mungkin aja sih. Dia emang suka jadi center of attention, sedangkan gw? Makhluk DC gitu loh, kaga ada people-person nya.

Ya stralah... cuman mau ngoceh doank. Mungkin dengan nge-mute dia dari socmed bisa membuat hati gw lebih tentram. Tapi ada yang ga bisa di-mute bo. Group chattingan. Ya stralah....

Traveling, where do you like to go?

Nulis pake inggris apa indo ya? -mikir- Maap yak kalau bakalan campur-campur.

Anyway.... I've been addicted to traveling these past years. During my childhood, almost every year my parents brought us (my siblings and I) traveled with travel agent. Even when we went to Medan, we were with travel agent. Ngerasa rugiiiii banget, karena waktu itu seisi tour cuman bisa makan yang halal, padahal kan Medan gitu loh!!! Akhirnya kita cuman makan babi sekali doank, nyari restoran kecil deket hotel. How sad....

Pas SMA, gw gabung sama grup pencinta awal (yg akhirnya dibubarkan olrh kepsek baru yg nyebelin dan menganggap anak2 pencinta alam pemberontak semua. Hiks). Emang sih sebelumnya juga pernah lah yg namanya camping Pramuka, atau hiking waktu retreat, tapi sejak ngerasain yg namanya camping beneran (ga ada listrik dan kamar mandi sama sekali... ) dan ngeliat sunrise di atas gunung, Wowwww... it seems like there is a different side of traveling.

Kuliah di luar, gw ga banyak jalan2... gara2 disuruh pulang terus sama bokap (yg kangen sama anaknya. *uhuk*). Pas udah kerja baru deh mulai kesana kemari, planning trips instead of ngikut tour, doing outdoor activities which is very convenient compare to here in Jakarta (ya eyalah... di Jakarta kan gersang, beton semuah). Dan semua mulai menggila waktu gw pulang for good ke Jakarta.

Di Jakarta: sumpek, pengap, macet, kerjaan yaaaa begitu2 aja. What keeps me alive is travel (and its planning). Plus, I met some people who have same preferences in traveling. I am a traveler who maximize experience rather than comfort and companion. Honestly, I choose where I wanna go, do some research and ask people around who wants to join. If not, well, plan is still on, with my dear hubby (dulunya masih pacar) (reluctantly) tagging along.

I have this circle of girlfriends, sebagian di Jakarta, sebagian di kota lain. Once we (or they? I don't remember I pledge to this) said to meet up once every year. One year we decided to go to Singapore. I didn't mind cos I haven't been to Singapore in a very long time. The next year (after long debate) we decided to go to Bali (during my birthday week because of schedule conflict with everyone), and I gotta spend a lot more money than I wanted to, due to:
1. one person demanded a private villa with pool
2. one person demanded a luxury spa (alternatif yg gw kasih dan harganya cuman sepertiga, sukses ditolak)
I even had to literally beg to spend a night in Ubud, because the others wants to just stay in Seminyak for 3 nights (2 yrs before, I went to Bali and stayed in Seminyak for 3 nights) by saying "gw udah ngalah mau ke Bali, kenapa sih ga mau stay di Ubud semalem doank?". Hahahhahaha. Baru deh yg lain iya2. Huh. The next year, I finally said "no, I'm not going". Not because I don't like being with them, but it's just too much money to spend for something I didn't really want. The plan was to go to a city in Java by plane (yg gw sering pergi krn ada sodara di situ), and do nothing except eating and spa-ing. No, thank you. Secara gw juga sering ketemu mereka... ya at least in the past 6 months masih ketemu lah. So the term of "reunion" didn't work either. Anyway, kalo ada yg baca dan merasa, well, I still love you as a good friend but maybe our travel preference are not suit to each other so just accept it. Eh tp sebenernya sebagian dari temen2 yg itu sih bisa dijadiin travel companion, ga semuanya ajah.

If you are still wondering what kind of a traveler I am, I'm just gonna list the trip I did these past years with brief explanation (in not chronological order). Kalo ada pembaca yang mau gw bikinin posting terpisah, let me know (Halah! kayak ada yg baca ajah).

1. Karimun Jawa. 4D/3N, flight to Semarang, car to Jepara,  ferry (plus a sick fisherman boat) to Karimun Jawa, decent hotel with AC, and cost only around 1,7mil per person all inclusive.

2. Pulau Tidung n Pramuka, 3D/2N, public boat from Muara Angke, homestay, and other usual activities there, cost me only around 400-500k.

3. Lombok, 5D/4N. City tour on the first day then hike up Mt Rinjani to its crater and lake (not summit) and camp for 2N (it is hard core OMG. but worth it). And back to nice hotel in Senggigi for the last night cos we missed the boat to Gili Trawangan. Ya maap dehhhh... dengkul gw sakit banget pas turun gunung hiks. And at that time I found out I had iliotibial band syndrome a.k.a knee pain for hikers. Ah, sudah tua. I forgot the cost, may be around 3-4mil. Dan sekarang pas gw lihat harganya, buseeeetttt... naik jauh loh dari 2 tahun lalu hueueuheuhe. Gara2 pindah airport dan BBM naik.

4. Tanjung Puting, 4D/3N. 2N stay on the boat (klotok), and 1N in the hotel in town. It was an life-changing experience seeing the palm oil - forest destruction - orang utan in there plus relaxing journey by sleeping on the deck with mosquito net and mattress and watching bekantan and monkeys jumping all around you. Ahhh, and went to Pasar Malem di kotanya. Cost: 3mil ++.

5. Kepulauan Derawan, 4D/3N. I think it turned out quite affordable, like around 3 mil. We did one day of diving, 1 day of snorkel plus swimming with Manta Rays which were awesomeeeee!!!! Not to forget the most important point-of-interest: Kakaban Lake with non-stinging jellyfish.

6. Belitung, 4D/3N. Went with my cousins and their parents, so I don't know how much it cost. Hahahahha... And my aunt even said it was more beautiful than Hawaii.

7. Citarik rafting + 1N camping. About 500k. Biasalah ya yg ini....

8. Buniayu cave, 2D/1N. Caving + rappelling in waterfall nearby. It was awesomeee! But not to repeat though ahahhaha... It was 5 hours hike in the cave, lots of weird and beautiful rocks plus bugs with no eyes. Cost: 350rb.

9. Gn Gede. 2D/1N. Reliving my high school memory though the hike trail is not as natural as it used to be (the stones hurt my knees), but well... I can still manage to climb up to the top! Cost: 350rb.

10. Gn Papandayan. 2D/1N. Asli deh ga kebayang ada gunung sebagus ini di deket Jakarta. Gampang pula naiknya... those of you unexperienced hiker, go check this out. So worth it! Cost: 600rb.

That's all I guess. There were few other expensive trips sponsored by my parents. I won't be paying for myself any expensive trips because I prefer save the money for other stuff (like renovating the house) and other trips! Tapi sekarang lagi planning buat Flores-Komodo trip, yang kaga bisa murah! Hiks.

The point of writing about this is, I feel bad for people who don't want to travel to some beautiful place because of their lack of facilities. Especially in Indonesia, lots of beautiful places still don't have a good transportation and infrastructure, tourist management, or star hotels. Like Rinjani, it's a hardwork to go there, and I said to hubby at that time "if it is in some developed country, I bet there are already cable cars here. I hope I can take my kids with cable cars in the future". Tapi jangan salah, makanan yg dimasak oleh porter2 di sana sekelas sama masakan restoran loh. Cobain deh kalo ga percaya.

Buat kamu2 yg ga mau pergi cuman karena takut ini dan itu, hotelnya jelek, pesawat kecil, kapalnya kayu lah... percaya deh, rasa petualangan itu akan mengalahkan ketidaknyamanan. Gw aja yg suka insomnia kalo tidur di tempat baru bisa survive, why don't you? :) And it's lucky for us who can experience both worlds :)

Ketemuan temen?

Bisa dibilang temen gw lumayan lah... banyak banget kaya social butterfly sih engga, tp waktu masa single sih ada aja 2-3 kali per minggu ngumpul sama temen yg berbeda2. Sampe pas awal2 pacaran, gw jarang pergi berduaan, soalnya udah terlanjur janjian sama temen2, jd ya gabung sekalian deh.

Udah agak lama pacaran, kumpul2 sama temen jadi otomatis berkurang sendiri. Kenapa yah? huhuhu... sedih loh, padahal masih suka ngumpul2... Minggu lalu gw mikir, kok sekarang jarang banget ketemuan sama temen yah. Ada sih bbrp yg masih agak rutin tp kebanyakan udah jarang.

Trus inget profile pic salah satu temen yg ada kata2 gini "Why complicate life? Wanna meet up? Invite!". Iseng aja ngomong sama salah satu temen gw buat ketemuan (udah 2 bulanan ga ketemu. Atau baru? ahahhaha), dia langsung OK, dan kita janjian buat ketemuan bbrp hari kemudian. Trus besokannya ada temen gw yg tiba2 ngajakin olahraga bareng (dulu sering sih waktu dia belum pindah kota), kebetulan gw bisa, ya gw iyain. Ini jg udah ga ketemu 2-3 bulan (agak lupa terakhir ketemu kapan). Seneng :D Ada lagi a group of my friends yg lagi atur waktu mau ketemu, tp belom dapet kesepakatan ahahhaha. Terakhir ketemu ada yg baru 2 minggu, ada yg 2 bulanan jg sih.

Dulu pas balik dari Amrik, gw lumayan kenalan sama banyak org baru, tapi end up nya ga banyak yg tetep temenan. Kebanyakan yang gw masih temenan ya yg temen2 lama. Temen baru hanya sekedar jadi 'kenalan'. Gw juga ga mau maksa sih, males juga kalo harus maksain ikut kegiatan mereka atau ngomongin hal2 yang mereka suka padahal kita ga nyambung. Nah ada nih sekelompok temen yg suka ngumpul dan kadang ngajakin gw n hubby, tapi kita suka males. Gayanya aja kali ya yg ga cocok. Kalo clubbing gitu kan gw ga suka.

Nah, planningnya sih pengen ngajakin temen lain ketemuan. Yg 1 terakhir ketemu pas gw merid (dia nyanyi pas pemberkatan). Dulu pas single, lumayan sering nih pegi ama dia. Olahraga bareng lah, nonton bareng lah, brunch bareng lah... Ada 1 lagi juga yang udah lama ga ketemu, terakhir waktu wedding gw juga, nah dia ini nari di wedding gw. (keliatan banget ya gw memanfaatkan teman2 ahahhaha). Nah ada sepasang lagi dulu juga sering ketemuan. Sekarang entah kenapa jadi menjauh gitu. Mungkin mereka sibuk juga sih, let's see deh, terwujud ga.

Touch and Words

In the last posting I wrote how I was surprised by Gembul's (admitted) love languages. We talked a little bit more about this and I successfully convinced him that he must have Physical Touch somewhere at the top three. Not talking about anything sexual, but he loves holding, stroking, and kissing my hand so much. Finally, he decided to change his answers in the love languages form. Touch (no 1), Words (no 2), Quality Time (no 3). Yay! Turned out my answers were not that wrong. If you wonder why he literally needed to change his answer on paper, it's because it's gonna be submitted to the workshop. We'll be tested during the last interview after the pre-marital class (if we make it).

Was having a little conversation with my dear friend, let's call her Cartoon, in twitter.
Cartoon: Some people wanna convince me that I'm too scared to fall in love. U know? When u thought something was love then u look back and it's got lust written all over it.
Me: It's better to use your mind before feelings. Feelings can follow as long as he's not too ugly :p
Cartoon: That's the thing. Sometimes my brain takes sabbatical when there's a smooth talker around
Me: Haha. Just laugh at him. Your heart is precious. Is your love language word?
Cartoon: Yea... Words words words

It's okay my darling Cartoon, God will send His defined poet for you :)