Salah satu issue saat gw sudah memulai kehidupan pernikahan adalah meal management. Ga tau sih bener ga istilahnya kaya gitu, intinya planning gw beli bahan2 makanan ga pernah beres. Jarang sih sampe kekurangan, biasanya kelebihan sampe busuk2 (terutama sayur hijau).
Awal merid, gw dan suami belanja bareng dan memikirkan sekitar 3 set menu yang bakal kita masak selama minggu itu. Tiap set menu cukup untuk 3 porsi. 2 porsi dimakan malem itu, 1 porsinya dibawa suami ke kantor buat makan siang besoknya (gw dapet makan di kantor). Abis itu kita kecapean.... karena ga ada pembantu sama sekali (yang dateng harian juga engga), ya otomatis kita yang musti beresin semuanya. Cape lah ya... apalagi kita berdua baru pulang ke rumah jam 7-7:30 pm selama hari kerja.
Akhirnya kita mengurangi belanjaan kita jadi 2 set menu saja. Jadi rencananya masak cuman 2 kali doank selama seminggu. Yang lain? ada kalanya emang kita pergi cellgroup yang dapet makan, atau suami abis customer gathering dan bawa sisa makanan dari resto, makan keluar atau dapet makanan dari ortu/mertua atau tante.
Contoh minggu ini. Hari minggu kemaren kita belanja untuk:
1. mie/bihun bakso (karena udah punya bakso)
2. mie goreng (karena udah punya lapchiong)
3. extra daging buat bikin pasta kalo kurang
Dan rencana kita adalah:
Senin malem: makan rumah inc. bekal suami
Selasa malem: makan luar karena kita ada 4 voucher makan yang expired di minggu pertama Juni -tepok jidat-
Rabu malem: cell group
Kamis malem: makan rumah
Jumat malem: makan rumah
Sabtu-Minggu: bersosialisasi, kondangan plus ngabisin sisa voucher makan karena weekend2 depan kita belum tentu sempat.
Dan sementara ini:
Senin malem: kita jadi masak dan makan mie/bihun bakso. Mertua nganterin seporsi bibimbap (suami ga suka, jadi disimpen buat gw). Ada sisa bihun digoreng tadinya mau dibawa suami ke kantor tp dia br inget Selasa dan Rabu dia dapet makan di kantor karena training.
Selasa malem: terpaksa makan di rumah karena ada bihun goreng dan bibimbap PLUS pembantu nyokap gw ngirimin gw SE-EMBER lauk.
Rabu malem: tetep cell group
Kamis malem: makan rumah
Jumat malem: makan rumah
Sabtu siang: makan di resto baru temen
Sabtu malem: kondangan dua bijik
Minggu: HARUS pake voucher (tapi ya cuman bisa maks 2 yak... 2 nya lagi apa kabar donk?)
Sekarang gw pusing ngeliatin seember lauk itu. Ember ini berawal dari percakapan gw ke mbak weekend kemaren pas gw visit bokap:
Gw: mbak, jangan ngasi ayam woku atau ayam bumbu rujak terus donk... kan bosen
Mbak: ya maunya apa? abis kamu kan suka ayam woku, Ben suka ayam bumbu rujak...
Gw: apa yg lain gitu... oseng tempe boleh tuh... terong balado juga aku suka, pindang juga boleh.
Hasilnya hari ini gw dibawain seember makanan isi: oseng tempe, terong balado dan pindang (ga tau pindang ayam atau ikan, belum diintip). -lapkeringet-
Anyway, terima kasih Tuhan atas berkatMu...
Showing posts with label woman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label woman. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
World Way Vs Jesus Way
There's this women forum I like to browse. Mainly it talks about fashion and beauty, but there are also some threads about love and life. There was this woman shared about her abusive husband, how her husband bet her in front of her 1-yo-daughter. The conversation has ran about a week and all the other forum members told her to divorce or at least leave his husband. Then, there was another woman wrote that she had an abusive boyfriend but more emotionally than physically. She had to answer his call right away, couldn't go out with her friends, etc etc. She knew it wasn't a healthy relationship but she was to scared to leave him after the 5-yr-relationship. The responses from the forum members were kinda similar, leave him! The first one was more complicated of course because it involved a little kid, a life together and in-laws.
I agreed that the second woman should definitely leave her boyfriend. But for the first woman, well... you and him are one! I brought up the Christian perspective of marriage that the vow was unconditional (although I wasn't sure in her religion there was such a vow). It doesn't justify you to break the promise if he breaks his. The vow didn't say "I will love and respect you if you love me back, if you care for me, if you make a lot of money" but it said "I will love and respect you in sickness, in health, in happiness, in sorrow, in rich, in poor etc etc". This woman also wrote that his husband moved to her city because she wanted to keep her job. And till now (after about 2 years of marriage), the husband was still jobless. He was looking for a job but then after they had a kid he said he didn't want to leave the kid with a babysitter. I was pretty sure that one of the main reason of the abusive behavior was the jobless situation. The husband must be depressed and humiliated that the wife became the breadwinner of the family. I didn't know if the wife already gave him a fair chance to find a job or not. But she said that his husband hid his situation from his family and she had to agree because if not her in-laws would force this couple to live with them. I was thinking, one way to save the marriage was move to the in-laws' city and let the husband be the hero of the family.
Well, I did write my point of view, hopefully it didn't offend that woman so much and I was ready to get harsh responses from the other members. Yup I got two in few hours. But that women hasn't replied yet. I am a very defensive person but I'm trying to hold back. One person said that I could have that ideal thinking because I wasn't married yet. Yes, it's true but I hope when I am married, I still have that ideal thinking. And she also said "why keep your promise while the other do not?" And someone also said that marriage is about love, when there is no love, what for? I could not preach about Christianity in the forum or I'll be banned.
So, I don't know how to defend my point because the only reason is "Because Jesus loves you and your husband and that is the marriage Jesus wants you to have" and I can't write that.
Jesus, I pray so that you touch that woman's heart. Strengthen and protect her and her daughter although they don't know you. I can't talk about it but only You can make your point. Give her and her husband wisdom and more more love toward each other. I also pray for the other people who reads my writings, may you also touch them. In the name of Jesus, may your kingdom come to the earth.
I agreed that the second woman should definitely leave her boyfriend. But for the first woman, well... you and him are one! I brought up the Christian perspective of marriage that the vow was unconditional (although I wasn't sure in her religion there was such a vow). It doesn't justify you to break the promise if he breaks his. The vow didn't say "I will love and respect you if you love me back, if you care for me, if you make a lot of money" but it said "I will love and respect you in sickness, in health, in happiness, in sorrow, in rich, in poor etc etc". This woman also wrote that his husband moved to her city because she wanted to keep her job. And till now (after about 2 years of marriage), the husband was still jobless. He was looking for a job but then after they had a kid he said he didn't want to leave the kid with a babysitter. I was pretty sure that one of the main reason of the abusive behavior was the jobless situation. The husband must be depressed and humiliated that the wife became the breadwinner of the family. I didn't know if the wife already gave him a fair chance to find a job or not. But she said that his husband hid his situation from his family and she had to agree because if not her in-laws would force this couple to live with them. I was thinking, one way to save the marriage was move to the in-laws' city and let the husband be the hero of the family.
Well, I did write my point of view, hopefully it didn't offend that woman so much and I was ready to get harsh responses from the other members. Yup I got two in few hours. But that women hasn't replied yet. I am a very defensive person but I'm trying to hold back. One person said that I could have that ideal thinking because I wasn't married yet. Yes, it's true but I hope when I am married, I still have that ideal thinking. And she also said "why keep your promise while the other do not?" And someone also said that marriage is about love, when there is no love, what for? I could not preach about Christianity in the forum or I'll be banned.
So, I don't know how to defend my point because the only reason is "Because Jesus loves you and your husband and that is the marriage Jesus wants you to have" and I can't write that.
Jesus, I pray so that you touch that woman's heart. Strengthen and protect her and her daughter although they don't know you. I can't talk about it but only You can make your point. Give her and her husband wisdom and more more love toward each other. I also pray for the other people who reads my writings, may you also touch them. In the name of Jesus, may your kingdom come to the earth.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Trust, Love Languages and Submission
Let's start from last Monday. Our 2nd session of relationship workshop talked about commitment, trust, and openness. Began with a game. Wouldn't tell you about the game in detail but it explained a lot.
The next question was "is there any time/thing you doubt his/her love to you?". I brought up the issue I wrote in the previous post, not being on time. It sounded so insignificant but I said that since the beginning of the relationship I already told him that I wanted a man who walks his talk, who does everything he can to fulfill his promise. I over-reacted on purpose so he knew it was important for me. Supaya jangan kebablasan. The facilitator (yang cowo) said to Gembul "Well, it should be easier for you to act on it cos she already said it clearly". Later that night Gembul told me that he forgot that statement but when I said it during the discussion, it came back to him and he realized it was important to me and he needed to work on it. Love him :) One thing I want my man to have (and Gembul has it) is a humble heart that wants to learn and be shaped. Once I was in a relationship with a guy that is too content with himself. Not a good experience. He never understands when I said that everybody should have desire to be better each day. He said "why don't you just accept me the way I am, like my friends do?" In my mind "Ya beda kaliiiii temen ama pacar. Gw juga ga gitu peduli sama temen, accept them the way they are. They wouldn't affect my life so much. " *loh jadi curcol*
Anyway, the relationship workshop hasn't talked about the role or the differences of man and woman yet, but since I love blog-walking (silently), I found so many revelations about the role of woman, being a wife and that kinda stuff. Found that they are several great Indonesian female bloggers that loves God a lot and have great blogs! Very inspiring and informative.
One thing (among lots of things) I learn from those blogs are woman is created to be a helper. The Scripture commands husbands to love the wives and the wives to respect the husbands. Anyway, those God-sent bloggers are much better than me explaining about woman and relationships. Their blogs are truly eye-openers. I'll post some links later after I introduce myself to them and ask for permission. I'm just gonna talk about me and Gembul related to this 'submission/respect' thingy.
When I was asked why I chose Gembul to be my boyfriend (I don't dare to say husband yet), I answered it was because he gained my respect. I am dominant and stubborn, it's not easy for me to find someone I can respect (in terms of boyfriend-girlfriend area). Once I marry a guy, I have to submit to his decision whether I agree or not. Huah! So much to learn and I definitely need God.
- There is no "I win and you lose" in a relationship. It's supposed to be "Let's win it together".
- Don't betray your partner who already put trust in you.
- It takes a lot more effort to gain the trust back. You may only betray your partner once, but you need years to convince him/her to trust you like before.
The next question was "is there any time/thing you doubt his/her love to you?". I brought up the issue I wrote in the previous post, not being on time. It sounded so insignificant but I said that since the beginning of the relationship I already told him that I wanted a man who walks his talk, who does everything he can to fulfill his promise. I over-reacted on purpose so he knew it was important for me. Supaya jangan kebablasan. The facilitator (yang cowo) said to Gembul "Well, it should be easier for you to act on it cos she already said it clearly". Later that night Gembul told me that he forgot that statement but when I said it during the discussion, it came back to him and he realized it was important to me and he needed to work on it. Love him :) One thing I want my man to have (and Gembul has it) is a humble heart that wants to learn and be shaped. Once I was in a relationship with a guy that is too content with himself. Not a good experience. He never understands when I said that everybody should have desire to be better each day. He said "why don't you just accept me the way I am, like my friends do?" In my mind "Ya beda kaliiiii temen ama pacar. Gw juga ga gitu peduli sama temen, accept them the way they are. They wouldn't affect my life so much. " *loh jadi curcol*
Anyway, the relationship workshop hasn't talked about the role or the differences of man and woman yet, but since I love blog-walking (silently), I found so many revelations about the role of woman, being a wife and that kinda stuff. Found that they are several great Indonesian female bloggers that loves God a lot and have great blogs! Very inspiring and informative.
One thing (among lots of things) I learn from those blogs are woman is created to be a helper. The Scripture commands husbands to love the wives and the wives to respect the husbands. Anyway, those God-sent bloggers are much better than me explaining about woman and relationships. Their blogs are truly eye-openers. I'll post some links later after I introduce myself to them and ask for permission. I'm just gonna talk about me and Gembul related to this 'submission/respect' thingy.
When I was asked why I chose Gembul to be my boyfriend (I don't dare to say husband yet), I answered it was because he gained my respect. I am dominant and stubborn, it's not easy for me to find someone I can respect (in terms of boyfriend-girlfriend area). Once I marry a guy, I have to submit to his decision whether I agree or not. Huah! So much to learn and I definitely need God.
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