Trust, Love Languages and Submission

Let's start from last Monday. Our 2nd session of relationship workshop talked about commitment, trust, and openness. Began with a game. Wouldn't tell you about the game in detail but it explained a lot.

• There is no "I win and you lose" in a relationship. It's supposed to be "Let's win it together". 
• Don't betray your partner who already put trust in you.
• It takes a lot more effort to gain the trust back. You may only betray your partner once, but you need years to convince him/her to trust you like before.

Then the group session. Since the week before we hadn't discusses about Love Languages, the facilitators asked us to fill it up. I kinda know my love languages (act of service and quality time), but... not sure about Gembul's love languages. I guessed it would be... quality time and words of affirmation. Turned out *JRENGGG* quality time and act of service. Yep! We basically have the same love languages order up to the last one. Act of service. I wondered if I even had done something to him about that. When the facilitator asked him what I did as an example? He said "she understands if I'm so tired to drive to her place and she even sometimes drives to my place". I never thought that action means a lot to him *catet baik2*

The next question was "is there any time/thing you doubt his/her love to you?". I brought up the issue I wrote in the previous post, not being on time. It sounded so insignificant but I said that since the beginning of the relationship I already told him that I wanted a man who walks his talk, who does everything he can to fulfill his promise. I over-reacted on purpose so he knew it was important for me. Supaya jangan kebablasan. The facilitator (yang cowo) said to Gembul "Well, it should be easier for you to act on it cos she already said it clearly". Later that night Gembul told me that he forgot that statement but when I said it during the discussion, it came back to him and he realized it was important to me and he needed to work on it. Love him :) One thing I want my man to have (and Gembul has it) is a humble heart that wants to learn and be shaped. Once I was in a relationship with a guy that is too content with himself. Not a good experience. He never understands when I said that everybody should have desire to be better each day. He said "why don't you just accept me the way I am, like my friends do?" In my mind "Ya beda kaliiiii temen ama pacar. Gw juga ga gitu peduli sama temen, accept them the way they are. They wouldn't affect my life so much. " *loh jadi curcol*

Anyway, the relationship workshop hasn't talked about the role or the differences of man and woman yet, but since I love blog-walking (silently), I found so many revelations about the role of woman, being a wife and that kinda stuff. Found that they are several great Indonesian female bloggers that loves God a lot and have great blogs! Very inspiring and informative.

One thing (among lots of things) I learn from those blogs are woman is created to be a helper. The Scripture commands husbands to love the wives and the wives to respect the husbands. Anyway, those God-sent bloggers are much better than me explaining about woman and relationships. Their blogs are truly eye-openers. I'll post some links later after I introduce myself to them and ask for permission.  I'm just gonna talk about me and Gembul related to this 'submission/respect' thingy.

When I was asked why I chose Gembul to be my boyfriend (I don't dare to say husband yet), I answered it was because he gained my respect. I am dominant and stubborn, it's not easy for me to find someone I can respect (in terms of boyfriend-girlfriend area). Once I marry a guy, I have to submit to his decision whether I agree or not. Huah! So much to learn and I definitely need God.