Are you sure you want to marry your partner?

Last night, we attended the first session of the relationship seminar. Well, I should call it relationship workshop instead because it involves lots of discussions. At first, the pastor talked to all of us, the total of 60 couples. He asked whether we were sure we wanted to marry our partner. And Gembul and I were among few couples that stated we're not sure yet. That's why we go to this workshop, right?

The pastor asked: What's love anyway? Love is accepting others unconditionally, love is a decision, love is all the 1 Chor 13 says. In short, love is to benefit others at the cost of self.This sentence summaries all. He explained that the purpose of this workshop was to build a strong foundation of marriage. We have to know why we want to marry this person specifically. Why this person, not the other. Because love is not just a feeling, but we need to put it into words. Years later, if we face a situation in our marriage life and our feelings are gone, we gotta hold on that reason "why I married this person".

Then we broke into groups of 5 couples and a couple of facilitator. They asked us in details what we want our husband/wife to be like, if our current partner already fulfills it, what the characters of our partner that we like and dislike.

My reason of not being sure about Gembul is not due to his characters. I'm just scared, I'll be bored ahahhahahaha... Am I sure I want to be with him for the rest of my life? Am I sure he is sufficient for me that I won't be looking at another guy? Am I sure I want to see him as the last person before I sleep and the first person before I wake up? I hope I can decide after this 5-week workshop.

What made me thinking after attending the first session is not about Gembul. But it is about me. I feel I haven't been a good girlfriend to him. When I hear the other guys said that their girlfriends are loving, patient, supporting, caring, and all that... I was like, hmmmmm.... doesn't sound like me. If you wonder what Gembul said about me, hahahahah... none of those, although I agreed to what he said last night.

My bestie, let's call her bubblegum, said to me... If I were him, I would say "Gembil is hardworking, she knows what she wants. She's not a clingy one, she's independent. Sometimes I wonder why she needs a boyfriend. Oh! Buat gelendotan!". Hahahhahaha she cracked me up. Thanks dear :)

Gelendotan... something like this.... (pic taken from Google)

>> If you wonder if we got into a fight after the workshop, yes we did :p